I’m a full-time marketing producer, 5 days a week for a super hip fortune 100 company. It’s fun, fast-paced, and pushes me each and every day. I honestly and truly love my full-time job and the people I work with. Just over 2 years ago I received a peer review that left me reeling. I may have been kicking butt in getting my projects done on time and within budget, but apparently I was ruffling feathers of my co-workers along the way.
After that moment I set out on a journey to better understand how I could interact and work with ‘people’ better. Since people seemed to be one hurdle I really needed to be better at navigating. I’ve read all the books, listened to all the podcasts, and attended a bunch of seminars on the subject (ok, not ALL, but you get the picture). I have loved everything I’ve learned and have especially loved putting my learnings into practice.
One of the best things that ever happened in my career was a training seminar I attended that talked all about ‘above the line’ and ‘below the line’ thinking. It was truly revelatory and has helped shape me as a producer and successful small business owner today.
One of the key principles I’ve learned from that training seminar and from life in general, is that anyone can read and ‘learn’ principles that will help and positively impact them daily. The key is taking those principles and putting them into practice. Trial and error, pushing them to their boundaries and beyond. Here are a few key takeaways that you can easily put into practice today:
1. Expect setbacks
I used to walk into a project, asses the needs, create my work-back schedule and start pushing the work down the field. When obstacles would arise or reviews wouldn’t go as well as expected and blow my carefully crafted timeline into oblivion I would get emotional, frustrated and easily annoyed at these changes and setbacks. And let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty.
Now, I go into every single project with a ‘when is it going to change’ attitude. It’s never ‘is it going to change’, it’s only a matter of ‘when’, and the moment I re-set my expectations and flipped my thinking was the moment I succeeded, no matter what got thrown at me! Expect the change, adapt and move on.
2. Allow yourself time and space for disappointments and hurt feelings
The ‘above the line/below the line’ training was seriously the best thing ever. It helped me see that I am 100% in control of my thoughts, attitudes, outcomes and abilities – no one else. My mindset and ability to bounce back from disappointments is also 100% something that I can control. I don’t need to ‘give my energy’ away to anyone unless I choose to, and allowing myself space to intentionally give my energy to disappointments keeps me in control of them.
When I feel myself getting annoyed with my child, spouse, co-worker, etc. I now recognize the feeling and save it for an appropriate time and space, where I can allow myself to feel the feels and think the thoughts – aka ‘go below the line’ – in a controlled environment and for a certain amount of time; usually 10-20 minutes, sometimes more. Then I brush it off and move on – or come back up ‘above the line’. Allowing myself that space and dedicated time is human, it’s needed, and because I’m controlling it I can ball it up and throw it the trash can when I’m done. Sometimes scraps or crumbs are left over, sure, but as long as they are acknowledged and not ignored they are so much easier to control and contain.
3. Decisions based on values vs decisions based on circumstances
It’s easy to quickly spin ourselves into a frenzy when we come up against an obstacle or set-back. It’s just as easy in those moments to make knee-jerk reaction-type decisions. This is when #2 comes into real-time practice and when it is important to really step back and look at your next steps through the correct lens. I find that when I make decisions based on my values and principles instead of my unhappy or less-desirable circumstances that I am much happier down the line.
Making a choice in-the-moment based on the moment might feel and seem good then, but will it stand the test of time?
Only time can really tell.
If you are consistently making your choices based on your values and principles then you can look back from wherever you are and know that you are at least sticking to your guns. And that is something to celebrate.
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