Negotiate like a boss(lady)

Negotiating is one of the most essential life skills, but most of us far it, avoid it or don’t realize we could be doing it. This is particularly true for women, who are less likely to negotiate and very likely to underestimate what they can get. The good news? It’s a game anyone can master… The ability to do it with confidence will help you manage difficult conversations and make positive changes in all aspects of your life.

– Natalie Reynolds, author of We Have a Deal

Have you ever been in a position where you just knew you were worth more, but weren’t sure how to get it? Here are three tips to help us boss-ladies channel our inner worth and manifest it in real life.

1. Consider your position

In fitness, sports and in life, practice makes progress. If you notice a stain on that Anthro shirt, ask the sales woman (or man) for a 20% discount. Or, if you work late often, ask to expense dinner. “Minor negotiations help you familiarize yourself with questions, resistance and rejection.” Reynolds says. “The more experience you have, the more likely you are to steer future interactions your way.”

2. Know your opponent

Before you come to the table, review your facts, goals and what Reynolds calls your ‘walkway point’. Having those items clearly outlined in your mind will help you guide the discussion and keep it on track. If you’re asking for a raise, research the compensation for comparable jobs at competitive companies. Think about your priorities—and theirs too. “To create a win-win outcome, understand what success looks like for them,” Reynolds says. “Reciprocity means that if they feel they’ve won, they’re likely to help you win, too.” 

3. Keep your cool

Just the thoughts of asking for a raise can elevate anyones heart rate and set it pounding. That’s normal. “Even the most successful real estate brokers and lawyers get nervous,” says Reynolds. They’re just more accustomed to it and better at concealing it.” 

Recognize your personal triggers and signs of anxiety—sweaty palms, butterflies, trembly voice. Then work to channel them to your favor by taking slow and steady breaths, evening yourself out and riding the adrenaline wave. “By channeling the most measured version of yourself, you’re more likely to get what you want,” Reynolds states.

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