the roller coaster

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Friday! We're shooting for Friday for Rhys to come home. #preemie #nicu #twins #28weekpreemie

Wednesday afternoon I was told  by the good doctor that it looks like Rhys will be coming home on Friday. Friday! So long as he doesn’t have any bradycardia (brady) or desaturations (desats). He’s been without any brady’s or desats for five whole days and is doing so, so well! But then,

last night he had a brady.

Eric was the one to tell me about it.

It happened while he was there.

My moment of hope, that beautiful set date of Friday was slipping through my fingers. I went a little numb and in denial about the whole thing. I eagerly called the nursers this morning to see what the update was and what the doctor had said about the brady. My eager mom voice was hoping and praying that it wasn’t ‘real’ that maybe the monitor hadn’t been properly picking up the signal.

But it was real.

And so were the tears that I let fall silently on my checks as I tried to remind myself that he just needed a little more time. That he is where he needs to be right now.

I can barely hold myself together today. The doctor has said that as long as he passes his car-seat study this afternoon and has no brady’s tonight that he will let him come home tomorrow.

But it’s not set in stone.

Except in my stubborn mind.

Rhys. Day 74. Looking good in red. #nicu #preemie #twins #royaldubs

Here’s to hoping that he’s ready. Here’s to hoping that I’m ready if he’s not.

xoxo

 

 

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  • My heart aches for you. My son also played that game with us...three times. The last brady he had was as we stood by his crib on the day we were taking him home. Luckily it was a positioning issue and we were still able to take him that day. I hope you are able to take him home tomorrow and I'll hope that you able to celebrate having one baby home. My little boy had to stay for 3 weeks after we had already taken his sister home. It was really hard to leave him behind.
    • Wow Kortney, You are a strong woman to have gone through this three times. I'm so happy to hear that your little lovies are home, happy & healthy. xoxo
  • I know how you feel. The doctors set a tentative date and then it doesn't work out. It's so hard to remind yourself that your baby still needs to be there because he is supposed to be at home with you. It can be letdown after letdown if it happens more than once. It is so hard to endure, but I can promise you that when it is over, once the sting wears away, you will be stronger. You will have gone through something that a lot of people couldn't handle and somehow you made it all happen. Being the mom of a NICU graduate (that's what we called them anyways) is a badge of honor. You went through something heartbreaking but you made it through to the other side and brought home a healthy baby. In your case it will be two! God is holding your hand, don't forget that :)